Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Burden Removal - Body Count 91

What a glorious morning! There's a certain sweetness in the air. The sun is shining beautifully, even giving this wretched city a shimmering glow. I don't ever remember this place have such a radiance to it. Perhaps it my mood lending itself to my eyes. Everything went without a hitch last night. The storage locker was everything I hoped it would be - spacious and secluded. The rental truck left a little to be desired, but it served its purpose. After a quick trip to the hardware store to pick up my supplies I tracked down the Muppet. It wasn't too hard. The gossip amongst the cattle in the office held pretty true. After the Muppet divorced its wife it became a relative recluse in it's house, drinking itself slowly to death. Unfortunately, that timetable was far too slow for me. Waiting for nightfall I easily crept into its home through the rear entrance, taking note of the video cameras as I moved about. The Muppet had a corner lot far from prying eyes so infiltration was comically simple. Readying my taser, I stilled myself and searched the house. I could hear it babbling faintly through the a bedroom door. I swung the door open the see the Muppet watching a baseball game. It looked at me and a quizzical expression crossed its stupid face. Before it could say anything I zapped it, knocking it unconscious. I quickly hefted its body over my shoulder and made a hasty exit towards the truck. I took a quick survey for any witnesses and then went back in to start a small fire in the kitchen. I broke a few bottles of liquor near the flames to help accelerate the burn. I discretely, but quickly got in the truck and headed back to the storage facility. Once there the fun began. It was still knocked out from the shock so I was able to get things setup easily. I duct taped its mouth closed so I didn't have to hear its horrid voice while it was being tortured. Then I nailed its left hand to the small workbench I bought. It jerked awake when I drove the second nail through its hand. The Muppet swung clumsily at me with its free right hand but I easily dodged and struck it squarely in the shoulder with the hammer. While it tried to recover from the crippling blow I grabbed its free hand a drove a nail into it. It writhed in agony, bucking wildly trying to free itself. I brought the hammer down forcefully on its left hand, crushing two fingers. It wailed for it was worth but the duct tape held. I smacked in the throat with the hammer to insight a gag reflex. The Muppet went to its knees, trying desperately to breath. While in a prone position, I began to rain down blows. Each impact tore into the flesh, soaking the Muppet's clothing in blood. I swung with such ferocity that a sickening, crunching sound accompanied each blow. Quickly the only thing keeping the Muppet off the ground were its restrained hands. I flipped the workbench over and kicked the Muppet on its back. It's eyes were bloodshot and dying. Any thought or emotion had been beaten out of them. I delivered the coup de grace to its face. Its head flattened and exploded into a bloody pool of chunks. Satisfied with my handiwork I poured kerosene over the Muppet's body and the desk clerk I had taken care of earlier. I changed my clothes, dropped a match and headed for the train station.

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