Monday, June 7, 2010

Still Lost

Been in a bit of a panicked frenzy for the last few days. Paranoia has ferociously gripped me. Every time any cattle walk past me I have to do a double take to make sure they aren't police. I've refused to use my land line and I've used my cell phone as sparingly as possible. Even email communications have been sparse. My train ride to work this morning was frantic. I backed myself into a corner to make sure I could keep my eyes on all of them. Anyone of them could have been a cop. Each new passenger added to possibilities exponentially. Even if they aren't police they could remember me and point me out later. At the office I could feel myself behaving like a caged animal, jumping at the slightest noise or movement. Maintaining my "human mask" was near impossible. This paradigm shift is completely wrong. They should be afraid of me, not the other way around.

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