Monday, May 24, 2010

New Beginnings

It's been a strange last few days. I spent most of the weekend with Candace. She phoned me early on Friday afternoon and asked if we could meet for dinner. I wasn't particularly in the mood to see her but I thought it might be a good way to kill time while I'm waiting for my watchers to fade away. We met at Niko's, a small Greek restaurant in the Galleria. She was already seated at the bar when I arrived and had been for a little while. She wasn't intoxicated but she was well on her way. The usual radiance I've come to associate with her wasn't apparent. She looked worn out, stretched beyond her means. When she saw me a little flair sparkled in her eyes, hinting at the beauty under her current exterior. She stood up and hugged me tightly. We caught up on the events of our lives since we last spoke. Due to the alcohol her language was quite peppered with profanity. It was actually pretty entertaining. She told me that her niece was in stable condition and it looked like she was going to pull through. I greeted the news with my best "joyous" emotions. We continued our conversation through more drinks and an excellent lamb dinner. By the time I paid our check Candace was quite inebriated. I walked her outside and hailed a cab. She turned and looked at me intensely, with a longing in her eyes. She insisted I accompany her home. I politely declined but she was persistent. We arrived at her building a short while later. She has a very posh, upscale corner loft befitting an executive. After pouring me a club soda and some wine for herself we found ourselves kissing and caressing on her sofa. My mind raced as our efforts intensified. That was not how I had envisioned our evening going. I wasn't sure I even wanted to be there, but her sensuous lips and skilled fingers broke my resolve. At one point I pulled away and told her I didn't want to take advantage of her. I don't think the words even registered. Her sexual appetite was voracious. Our foreplay escalated into a torrid event. Bucking and writhing mixed with screaming moans of ecstasy, filling the cavernous loft. After we reached our apex Candace fell into a deep, liquor infused slumber. I laid awake for several hours contemplating and replaying the evenings events. It had been a very long time since I was intimate with anyone. It was also the first time I could remember not having to fantasize about gruesome violations and murdering my partner to be able to finish. It was just a primal release, an unadulterated lust satisfied. When I awoke the next morning I was very disoriented. It took a few groggy seconds before I recalled where I was and how I had come to be there. Candace was already up and awake. I could smell her cooking breakfast. I found something to cover myself and made my way to the kitchen. She greeted me with a smile and a cup of coffee. We spent some time talking about the prior nights events and the repercussions. After breakfast we decided to spend the weekend together. All things considered it was very enjoyable. My urges to slaughter the cattle seemed to subside while I was with her. I'm not sure what to think of that. My hatred of them has defined me as long as I can remember.

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