Thursday, April 22, 2010

Midnight Showing - Body Count 6

I was very restless last night. Couldn't sit still to read anymore of Paradise Lost and the television was just more insipid nonsense than I was prepared to subject myself to. I finally grabbed a jacket and headed out in search of a distraction. Strolling through my darkened neighborhood, I noticed some lights still on in various dwellings. I briefly wondered what the cattle do when they can't sleep and what kinds of horrible things keep them up at night. Eventually, I found myself boarding a train towards the Loop. I enjoy riding the train at night. Few cattle are around to be a nuisance and the droning of the rails can be hypnotic. The Loop was still relatively thriving when I arrived. Lots of cattle from the university running around like fools. Not being particularly interested in mingling amongst them, I headed towards the west end of the area. There's a small theater there where I thought I might catch a late film. I was hoping that the theater would vacant so I could enjoy a movie in peace, but that was not the case. Although there weren't many patrons, it was enough to disturb me. The only midnight feature was a 3D showing of Alice in Wonderland. Not thrilled with the prospect, I reluctantly purchased my tickets and was handed a pair of ridiculous glasses. Quickly, I made my way into the theater and sat in the last row, hoping that I would be able to watch the film undisturbed. That was a short lived thought. Some of the drunk rabble from the Loop found their way in. Fortunately they chose seats towards the front. As the lights dimmed and the trailers started more stragglers were still coming in. A behemoth of a creature decided that directly in front of me was the ideal viewing position. It was beyond obese, not really having a definite shape just mass. It came in carting a 55 gallon drum of buttery popcorn and a vat of soda. It was rather disgusting to behold. I tried to put it out of my mind as I slipped on the glasses and engrossed myself in the coming attractions. Even over the screaming and screeching of the audio I could hear the behemoth wheezing as it shoved handfuls of popcorn into it's face. The swallowing sounds it made while trying wash down the popcorn were sickening. By the time the movie started I could barely keep my eyes on the screen. 20 minutes into the film I had a raging headache from the 3D and the trough noises in front of me. I discarded my glasses and took a look around at the other cattle. They were all engrossed in the idiotic movie and several rows ahead of me. Feeling confident in my anonymity, I pulled a knife out of my jacket and waited for the next mouthful. As it began to chew I swiftly put my right hand over it's mouth and slit it's throat from right to left with my other hand. I held onto it's mouth while it bled out. Looking around I saw that none of the cattle had noticed anything amiss. I wiped the knife clean on it's clothing and casually got up and made my way to the side exit. There was still enough foot traffic on the streets to offer me decent camouflage. I hopped on a train and came home. I was able to catch of hours of blissful sleep.

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