Unexpected Encounter

Spent the holiday weekend with Candace and her family. I was not prepared for that and was more than a little pissed when she sprang that on me Friday evening. I put on my best "human mask" and diligently played the part of the doe eyed boyfriend. Her parents were gracious hosts, if not a little too friendly. Their home is a shrine to their children and grandchildren. It was quite sickening to see such glee and pride as they prattled on and on about their progeny. Her sister showed up with the daughter that survived the blast. I have to admit it was a double edged sword seeing the girl. On the one hand it was a glaring reminder of the blast failing to meet my expectations. On the other knowing the amount of sheer torture the girl suffered at my figurative hands was practically narcotic. It was more than a little difficult to maintain my composure around her. There were other cattle roaming around the house that claim kinship with Candace but they were of no consequence to me. Just a bunch of idiot parents and little hooligan bastard offspring running around screaming and playing with explosives. By Sunday I began plotting constructing a bomb from the arsenal of fireworks housed in the garage. The entire weekend was reminiscent of the horrid family functions perpetrated by my parents before their untimely demise. One thing became abundantly clear to me this weekend - Candace will never part from these cattle.