Drinks

I got to Webb's around 10 til 8 last night. It was fucking horrible. Pretentious cattle and their stupid haircuts everywhere. Idiotic conversations drowned out by horrid "music". Just making my way to the bar was challenge. Then I had to deal with a smug attitude for ordering an $8.00 club soda. It took a lot of restraint for me to not reach over the bar and crush the bartenders windpipe. While I was sipping my drink and glancing around the room I picked up a whiff of her scent. Seated at a table to my left was Candace, looking radiant. Her black hair shined under the lighting and her piercing eyes sparkled brilliantly. She was dressed for the evening in a form fitting blue dress and matching heels. Not one to usually be drawn to the trappings of flesh, I'll admit she took my breath away. She smiled when she saw me watching her and motioned for me to come over. I sat down and held up my club soda. I told her she owed me $8.00. She laughed and flashed that wonderful smile at me again. We fell into a very natural conversation. It was a little odd for me. I didn't feel like I had to maintain my "human mask" to be around her. After a few rounds and some more conversation we made plans to have dinner on Saturday. Our server brought the tab which she insisted on paying, despite my protests. I walked her to the door and hailed a cab for her. Before getting in she thanked me for an enjoyable evening and kissed me on the cheek. I stood watching the departing vehicle like a lost puppy as it drove away. My head was reeling. I don't know what to about her.

A New Friend

Went out to lunch this afternoon to escape the confines of the office. It's not something I normally do but being there was getting to be too much. I went down to a small deli a few blocks away that has a nice outdoor dining section. The weather is much too exquisite to spend all day in a box with cattle. The restaurant was bustling with the lunchtime herd when I arrived. Fortunately I was able to be seated rather quickly. I sat enjoying my iced tea and drinking in the nature while I waited for my food. While taking a sip a woman on a cell phone bumped into my arm and spilled my tea. Before I had a chance to angrily respond the woman promptly hung up her call and apologized profusely. Seeing true remorse in her green eyes, I quickly slid on my "human mask" and laughed off the situation. She was relieved at seeing my indifference to her faux pas. I invited her to sit down and join me for lunch. She politely refused, saying that she had a business meeting she was already late for. She did however offer to buy me a drink this evening at Webbs, one of those horrible trendy bars filled with young corporate cattle in expensive suits and smug attitudes. Disguising my distaste at the choice of venue, I readily agreed to meet her at 8:00 tonight. She smiled sweetly and introduced herself as Candace before she turned and left. Her scent lingered in the air for few minutes after she left. It was an intoxicating fragrance. Tonight could prove to be very interesting.

Dreaming

After my jaunt to the park yesterday I came home and fell into a deep sleep. My strange dreams have returned with a vengeance. I was riding the train on my way to work, but I was alone. I couldn't see any cattle, not even in the other cars. The train pulled into a stop and Mirror Man boarded my car. He sat at the far end away from me. I stood up to get his attention, but he looked at me and motioned for me to take my seat. I complied as he pulled out a newspaper and began to read. The train continued on to another station. This time the murderer from the train shooting boarded. He stood at one of the hand rails and tried to blend into the background like a scared animal. Mirror Man took no note of him and read his paper quietly while the train continued to the the next stop. At that stop Mirror Man gathered his belongings and made his way to the door. He stopped in front of the murderer, put down his paper and briefcase and drew a long serrated blade from his suit coat. He began to saw on the murderers hand that was grasping the hand rail, his shooting hand. The murderer never made a sound, he just stood bleeding and trembling. When Mirror Man finished severing the limb he picked it up and said "You don't deserve this". He turned and looked at me pensively for a few seconds before handing me the appendage. "Take good care of this" he said and then walked off the train.

A Day Off

Called into the office this morning. Just couldn't force myself to sit through another day of the cattle circus. The Corporate Muppet wasn't pleased but it doesn't understand that I'm actually granting it a favor. I'm allowing it to live one more day, to breathe one more breath. If I were to force myself to be in it's presence I would take great pleasure in driving my ball point pen through it skull. Spending time in the park, enjoying the sunshine and communing with nature seems to be the order of the day. I may even continue my study of the downfall of man in Paradise Lost.

Recon

Did a little bit of reconnaissance work for the bombing yesterday. The American Idol tour will be at the James Murphy Center on May 8th. It's a newer building with a lot of concrete construction. Not too many windows other than the foyer. It has an attached multilevel garage that has a lot of possibilities. A car or van would be easy enough to drive in and leave undetected. There are a few cameras on the buildings and a few traffic cameras around that will require special attention. The arena is very close to a train station so a quick exit is virtually guaranteed. It will be almost too easy to massacre the cattle.

Back to the Park

I've been so mired in work and other activities I haven't been to the park in weeks. Today I decided to spend a peaceful afternoon there. It was nice to sit and enjoy the cool breeze and sweet fresh air, though the park itself has seen better days. Some of the vegetation is starting to shrivel and die. From my bench it seemed like the river is getting a little low. Much as I loathe the rain of this city it is needed for my park to flourish. All in all, it was enjoyable visit. Not even the cattle could ruin it for me, though they did try. Their unruly offspring ran rampant while they ignored them, becoming engrossed in gossiping and sinking into their own devices. Those beasts should never be allowed to procreate.
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Aftermath

Read an article on the news this morning about the behemoth from the theater:

"Jerry Polk, 38, was found in the Accent Theater of the Loop area early yesterday morning. Polk, who has been described as being "morbidly obese", was discovered when ushers came to clean after the midnight showing of Alice in Wonderland. The employees assumed he had fallen asleep and tried to wake him. That's when they discovered his throat had been slit. Police are searching for suspects but have very little to go on. Given the location of the crime scene forensic evidence will be very hard to come by and so far there are no witnesses. They have said given Mr. Polk's appearance they have not ruled out the possibility that this was a hate crime."

A hate crime is probably an accurate description, but not for the reasons they suspect.

Midnight Showing - Body Count 6

I was very restless last night. Couldn't sit still to read anymore of Paradise Lost and the television was just more insipid nonsense than I was prepared to subject myself to. I finally grabbed a jacket and headed out in search of a distraction. Strolling through my darkened neighborhood, I noticed some lights still on in various dwellings. I briefly wondered what the cattle do when they can't sleep and what kinds of horrible things keep them up at night. Eventually, I found myself boarding a train towards the Loop. I enjoy riding the train at night. Few cattle are around to be a nuisance and the droning of the rails can be hypnotic. The Loop was still relatively thriving when I arrived. Lots of cattle from the university running around like fools. Not being particularly interested in mingling amongst them, I headed towards the west end of the area. There's a small theater there where I thought I might catch a late film. I was hoping that the theater would vacant so I could enjoy a movie in peace, but that was not the case. Although there weren't many patrons, it was enough to disturb me. The only midnight feature was a 3D showing of Alice in Wonderland. Not thrilled with the prospect, I reluctantly purchased my tickets and was handed a pair of ridiculous glasses. Quickly, I made my way into the theater and sat in the last row, hoping that I would be able to watch the film undisturbed. That was a short lived thought. Some of the drunk rabble from the Loop found their way in. Fortunately they chose seats towards the front. As the lights dimmed and the trailers started more stragglers were still coming in. A behemoth of a creature decided that directly in front of me was the ideal viewing position. It was beyond obese, not really having a definite shape just mass. It came in carting a 55 gallon drum of buttery popcorn and a vat of soda. It was rather disgusting to behold. I tried to put it out of my mind as I slipped on the glasses and engrossed myself in the coming attractions. Even over the screaming and screeching of the audio I could hear the behemoth wheezing as it shoved handfuls of popcorn into it's face. The swallowing sounds it made while trying wash down the popcorn were sickening. By the time the movie started I could barely keep my eyes on the screen. 20 minutes into the film I had a raging headache from the 3D and the trough noises in front of me. I discarded my glasses and took a look around at the other cattle. They were all engrossed in the idiotic movie and several rows ahead of me. Feeling confident in my anonymity, I pulled a knife out of my jacket and waited for the next mouthful. As it began to chew I swiftly put my right hand over it's mouth and slit it's throat from right to left with my other hand. I held onto it's mouth while it bled out. Looking around I saw that none of the cattle had noticed anything amiss. I wiped the knife clean on it's clothing and casually got up and made my way to the side exit. There was still enough foot traffic on the streets to offer me decent camouflage. I hopped on a train and came home. I was able to catch of hours of blissful sleep.

I was forced into going to a business lunch this afternoon. The Corporate Muppet may have to die for this transgression sooner rather than later. It is always such a monumental task to maintain my "human mask" in a setting like that. Sitting at a table surrounded by chattering cattle, discussing inane hypothetical business situations instead of doing actual work. The surrounding atmosphere didn't offer much of a reprieve. At the table to my left was one of the most obnoxious and reprehensible representatives of the cattle I've ever come across. It talked incessantly on its cell phone in a ridiculously loud voice through the course of the entire meal. Even it's own dining companions tired of it's antics. Several times I found myself wondering if the cattle would even care if I walked over and stabbed it in the throat with my steak knife. Finally our server asked it to quiet down, but it was short lived. By the time we left the server had an all too familiar murderous look in her eye. It's a shame she didn't give in to her primal urges. That may have made up for my being there.

A cold front has moved in. The aren't any winds blowing, the reek of the cattle is lingering and intensifying. It has been utterly stifling all day. By the time I boarded the train this evening I could barely see straight. It was a full car and I ended up sitting next to some older cattle. They were prattling on about the economy and politics. Listening to them was like an icepick in my skull. Luckily they got off a few stops later and I was left with a momentarily empty space next to me. At the next stop Mirror Man boarded the train and sat next to me. He looked at me and acknowledged my presence. I was a little taken aback. I wasn't sure how to proceed. I tried to engage him in conversation using my best "human mask", but he didn't seem interested. He briefly stared at me and then turned his attention to watching the cattle. The silence between us was very unsettling. After several minutes we came to the Heights. He stood up, looked down at me and said "They all deserve to die". The words sent a shiver through my body as he walked off the train.

Overslept this morning. Fell asleep reading Paradise Lost in front of the television. A dry read to say the least, it does evoke vivid imagery. Many themes and words jumped from the pages, particularly orchestrating the Fall of Man. I can relate to that on a primal level. The 7:00 news startled me from my slumber. The police found the school teacher's corpse.

"Shocking similarities between this victim and another found just a few weeks ago have left the police examining the possibility of dealing a pattern killer".

A "pattern killer"? I suppose the media think that sounds better than "serial killer" to the cattle. Either way it's an inappropriate description. These wretched creatures do not have the vocabulary to describe what I am.

Decisions, decisions, decisions

I've decided to go with a big boom from the sodium hydroxide. Rode the train around for awhile this morning looking for inspiration, looking for something that will drive fear into the hearts of the cattle. My first choice was obvious - a train station. I quickly ruled that one out though. No need to make things difficult on myself in the course of punishing them. The airport seemed like another viable option, but the logistics of getting something in there is a headache. Plus the response from the various government Alphabet Agencies is more than I want to contend with at the moment. A hospital has possibilities, but I'd prefer that to be a last resort. Why pick off the sick and dying cattle when there are so many vibrant ones running around. The train passed by various neighborhoods but nothing caught my interest. Derelict buildings are in abundance, but they're such an easy target with no real value. About an hour and half into the trip I had an epiphany. Usually I'm completely oblivious to the banner ads plastered all over the train, but one caught my attention. One of those wretched American Idol tours is coming to the city. It's perfect. I can wipe out horrid "musicians" and their idiot fan base in one fell swoop. I'll have a few weeks to do recon and plan, but the wait will be worth it.

Interesting train ride this morning. It started out like the normal commute, herded along with the cattle in an overfilled car. Most of them with their vacant stares and electronically induced comas. About halfway through my journey two of them started mincing words - threats, vulgar name calling, the usual fair of knuckle dragging cretins. From what I gleaned of their interaction the altercation was over a soured deal of some sort. Their tempers flared and the situation quickly escalated to a physical one. The intimidated cattle around them started to part and slink away. It didn't take long for blood to be drawn. The larger of the two cattle had the other one on the ground beating it viciously in the face. In a last ditch effort the smaller cattle produced a small pistol and fired a round through the skull of his opponent. There was a momentary blissful silence after the report of the pistol died. Then the screaming and panic started. Cattle trying to claw their way out of a moving train car and frantic phone calls and text messaging. The murderer was still dazed by the gravity of the situation. Not sure if it was his first kill or if he realized the dire position he was now in. The transit police finally responded, taking him into custody and exiting the car at the next stop. The cattle also had a mass exodus at that stop. When the door closed there were just a handful left. It was a very enjoyable ride. I couldn't help but smile all the way to the office.

In kind of a "giddy" mood today. My sodium hydroxide arrived last night. Since my test subject has been disposed of I was a little irritated. I spent some time doing research on what to do with 20 lbs of the stuff. I must say Google is an amazing tool. My knowledge of chemistry is a little lacking, so I was more than pleased to find some very informative websites and articles. Apparently sodium hydroxide mixed with water and aluminum makes for a remedial hydrogen bomb. Add a little fire to that and all kinds of fun things happen. The only real question now is do I make one really big boom or a few small ones.

Body Count - 5

Patience, it would seem, is not one of my virtues. Left the office early yesterday. Told the Corporate Muppet I was sick, which was very true. Being around all the cattle was beginning to make my flesh crawl. It started flapping it's head about some kind of deadline or some such nonsense. I responded with some sort of bullshit answer that seemed to appease it, I suppose. I really didn't care. I just had to get out of the building. The train ride home didn't help matters. Apparently mid day is the prime traveling time for the parasites of society. After refusing several offers of intercourse from disease spreading whores and drugs from junk pedaling criminals I finally arrived at my stop. My "human mask" maintained long enough to exit the car and promptly vomit in a nearby garbage can. I heard some faint murmurs from the surrounding cattle, but I ignored them and pressed home. I collapsed on the floor of the kitchen after safely locking them on the other side of my front door. After several minutes I collected myself and ran some cool water over my face. I resolved myself to what I knew must be done. After changing clothes and gathering my tools from my workshop I made my way to my test subjects apartment. The late lunch crowd was dying but there were still enough cattle roaming on the streets that it was easy enough to pass by inconspicuously. Her building was old, probably pre-WWII. Narrow staircases, poor lighting and wall to wall tile and paneling in the foyer. Mentally picturing the outside of the building I was able to ascertain which second floor unit was hers. With only 4 units per floor it really wasn't that difficult. To my surprise her door was unlocked, indicating that she is either absentminded or careless. Either way it saved me from having to pick the lock. The inside of her apartment could have easily doubled as a library. Books were piled floor to ceiling, some in cases and some just stacked on the floor. Every room was like a different section of a bookstore. It was a very extensive collection, everything from Faust and The Canterbury Tales to the latest trashy romance novels. It was staggering to think of how much time had been poured over these volumes. I sorted through her tomes and came across Paradise Lost in her bedroom. The title intrigued me. It's one of those titles that academia tries to force feed you, but nobody pays attention to it and certainly no one reads it for leisure. Yet I found myself flipping through the pages, gleaning words from it. I became so entranced in it I barely heard her opening her front door. To my good fortune she was on a cell phone and distracted when she entered. I had just enough time to quietly slip into the bathroom adjacent to her room. I stepped into the shower and readied the paralytic. She talked on her phone for what seemed like hours. I was becoming increasingly aggravated with her delay. My hands were beginning to tremble with anticipation. Finally I finally heard her give her farewells and make her way towards me. When she entered and turned to close the door I sprang out at her. The lip of the tub made it a clumsy effort on my part. My momentum carried me into her and she rocked back against the mirror above the sink, breaking it in the process. She blindly swung on instinct and caught me in the ear before I was able to regain my balance. Reflexively I jabbed her in the midsection and brought her gasping to her knees. I pushed her to floor and held her in a choke hold while I administered the paralytic. Her eyes were an ocean of panic. I suppose with her head always in a book she never thought something like this would happen to her. Satisfied in her paralysis I began to cut off her clothing, revealing a young body that was beginning to show signs of neglect. Too many nights reading books and eating junk food. When I plunged the knife into her abdomen, it was almost like cutting into warm dough. The blade cut easily up to her sternum just below her throat. The incision from each palm to the center cut went just as easily. I watched the fear in her eyes elevate as the realization that she was going to die hit her in full force. Her eyes weren't anything special. Just brown and plain, not worth the effort of removing. After she bled out I did the usual clean up efforts and grabbed the copy of Paradise Lost on my way out the door. I was able to slip out of her building and into rush hour traffic unnoticed. It was a pleasant walk home. I could actually feel myself smiling from ear to ear. My only nagging thought was that I'm going to have to find a new use for the sodium hydroxide.

In a very poor mood today. I missed my test subject last night. Her apartment was darkened and vacant by the time I was able to observe her. I waited in the coffee shop for hours, swilling horrid liquid and listening to revolting music. It was all for naught and after several hours of bitter disappointment I reluctantly returned home. On top of all that aggravation I had to part with my trophies last night. They had completely lost their luster and appeal, becoming as dead to me as the girl that produced them. My anger and frustration were so immense that I wasn't able to sleep at all. I spent most of the night and early morning hours caring for my tools. The sound of a blade on a whetstone is usually so soothing to my ears. Each pass a melody of a symphony, a perfect harmony of steel and stone. Unfortunately last night I could not be pacified. Watching the sun rise and bringing with it the dreaded day was like a punch in the face. I must venture forth and be amongst the cattle and their wretched stench.

Had a dream about Mirror Man last night. He was different in this one, more hospitable I suppose you would say. He met me at the end of a long corridor and motioned me to follow him as he started walking down the hallway with a grin on his face. The walls of the corridor were lined with mirrors, but they weren't normal mirrors. They were like windows into my past. I saw images I tried so hard to repress - the beatings, punishment and ridicule suffered at the hands of Dad. Everything from the time I drop a glass of milk on the carpet til the time he put me in the hospital for getting a B on history exam. A few of them had Mother in them, blissfully ignorant of the torture I endured at his hands. Her red hair framing her face and offsetting the lifelessness behind her eyes. As I continued I began to see other events from the past. I saw myself capturing a squirrel in our backyard and cutting it's head off with my pocket knife. I relived the beating I gave to Dave Mackenzie in junior high. Watching the Rec Center burn down again was a real treat. Almost forgot how much I enjoyed that. The final mirror was one of the parents' grave site. It always struck me a kind of funny. There wasn't much left of either one of them to bury after the accident. When I looked away from that last image Mirror Man was looking at me, still with that same grim on his face. He put his hand on my shoulder and nodded at me. When the alarm clock went off I woke up in a state of confusion, but I had a comforting feeling of well being .

Followed the test subject around today. She went to the Market Place near the Loop and had lunch at one of the outdoor bistros there. I was mesmerized watching her as the wind blew through her radiant hair, glowing in the sun. Her dining companion seemed to take notice of it too. It seemed as drawn to her as I am. After their meal I followed them as they strolled through the Loop, stopping in several small shops along the way. Their laughing and talking in such a jovial manner was maddening. To see that insignificant speck speak to my test subject, she who was chosen above all others. I had great difficulty not slaying it on the spot. From their conversations I did glean the fact that she is a grade school teacher at one of the area private schools. Imagine all those young cattle that get to see that magnificent specimen everyday. How I envy them. After a few hours of cat and dog she left her speck and headed for home. I followed her back and observed her from a coffee shop across the street from her apartment. She spent the remainder of the afternoon and early evening reading a book by the window. As the the sun set she left her intellectual pursuits and turned to that insipid television for a mind numbing experience. I finished a last cup of coffee and headed home to check the status of my sodium hydroxide. These next few days will be a great test of my patience.

Getting a large quantity of sodium hydroxide is proving a little more difficult than I anticipated. It will take a few days for my shipment to arrive. Nonetheless, I've been amongst the cattle all day searching for a suitable test subject. The park didn't yield any sufficient results so I rode the train to various parts of the city. Nothing seemed worthy of my attention until I was walking home from the station, convinced today had been a waste. I spotted her from the darkened street. The bedroom window of her third floor apartment was open, letting in some of the cool night air. It was her hair that drew my attention, burning bright red and flowing from her shoulders. I stood transfixed for several minutes before I decided she was the one. She is perfect.

With my resolve to purge the cattle strengthened, I've started doing some research to become more efficient in my endeavors. It's staggering what you can find on the internet. Some of the cattle may prove to be useful yet. I came across a video of a firearms instructor's lecture. The lesson itself wasn't that spectacular, but it made an offhand remark about disposing of bodies in septic tanks. The smell masks the odor of flesh decomposition and supposedly the only thing that won't dissolve are the bones of the inner ear. Too bad septic tanks are rare at best in cities. That had a lot of possibilities. Freezing and dumping corpses is a viable option, but that seems like it would draw unnecessary attention to my activities and leave too much open to chance. The most interesting option thus far has been sodium hydroxide. When mixed with water it is extremely caustic. It is used to decompose roadkill by cleaning crews. The flesh turns into a black liquid, leaving only bone hulls that can be easily crushed. If I can locate some this weekend I'll have to give it a try.

Rode the train home last night. No encounters with Mirror Man. He must not keep a regular schedule. Being surrounded by the cattle again was oddly comforting, the feeling of knowing you're the beast among human sheep. It also served as reinforcement of why they must be cleansed from existence. Wretched chattering drones, bereft of individual thought. Technologically connected to everything except freewill and passion for life. Ignoring the flapping heads about me that talked incessantly on their telephones, I drifted into deep thought. A city painted in blood and carrion being feasted upon by vermin in the streets. No more cattle roaming the streets living lives of decadence and excess. Such a beautiful dream. I must redouble my efforts and continue to purge their vile presence.

After last night's chance encounter with the Mirror Man, I decided to skip the train and take a cab to the office. It was an interesting experience. The driver didn't speak to me, so I didn't have to bother maintaining my "human mask". And since I wasn't surrounded by wall-to-wall cattle I was able to take in some of the more colorful sights of the city from my window. Abandoned buildings ravaged by fire, garbage lining the streets, an entire infrastructure laid to waste by neglect. I was even witness to a few drug deals. I always assumed crackheads were nocturnal creatures but apparently not. This place is like a sick anthropology experiment - watch as the caged cattle multiply and destroy themselves and their surroundings. It's staggering to think they willfully accept living in this environment. By the time I arrived at the office the sights were making me physically ill. They truly are a plague to this world.

Mirror Man was on the train this evening. I studied him intently, not even bothering with pretense or stealth. His demeanor seemed different than the last time I saw him. He didn't bother to even look at the cattle. He just gazed blankly out the window. It seemed like he was almost sad for some reason. When the speaker announced our arrival at the Heights station he finally pulled out of his daze and looked directly at me. More accurately, he was looking through me with a thousand yard stare. He got up and walked past me to the door, never losing the hollowness in his eyes. It was very unsettling.

Saw something on the news this morning about a wild fire a few hours north of the city. Several acres were destroyed. The breath was sucked out of my lungs at hearing that. That was never my intent during the barmaids disposal. I thought the fire would have been seen before any real damage occurred. How stupid of me to think the cattle had the observational skills to detect something that wasn't being crammed down their throats by advertising or plastered on a reality television series. And so nature suffers at their hands once again.

Not much sleep yesterday. I was sort of in a trance all day. Took the rental car to have it extensively detailed before returning it. Did some necessary shopping, then went home and spent the rest of the day listening to music. Received several email notifications from the office, but they went ignored. I'll have to deal with the repercussions today.

The Best Laid Plans: Body Count - 4

Today is not a good day. Everything got all fucked up last night. My recurring dream followed me up to the lake. I was at the park sitting on the bench watching Dad being drowned by the man from the platform, the girl and the prostitute. They were reveling in his demise, laughing and taunting him. When the splashing and struggling had ceased the three backed away from his body. He rose rose from the water, but it wasn't Dad. It was the gentleman from the train, the Mirror Man. The three looked upon in him awe and fear as he continued his ascent from the river. He made his way up the bank and walked towards me, never looking away. He stopped directly in front of me and cast his gaze downward. He began to speak to me in that strange buzzing language the girl had. I tried to understand but I couldn't decipher anything. He became aggravated at my lack of comprehension and began to choke me. I tried to stop him, but couldn't break his iron grip. I could feel my windpipe crushing under his hand. I abruptly shot awake coughing and gagging, my heart beating thunderously in my chest. Catching a reflection in the mirror, I could see bruising around my throat. After catching my breath and calming myself a bit I realized that I had overslept by several hours, well into the afternoon. I quickly dressed and drove to the resort to catch the girls. Instead I found empty parking spots in front of the villa and a cleaning crew preparing it for new occupants. Angry and distraught, I drove through the town and around the lake searching for them in vain. Finally resigning myself to the fact that I had blown my opportunity and my plans laid to waste, I headed to the restaurant for an early dinner. My discontent was very apparent. The barmaid from the previous night made comment of my depressed demeanor. Not really wanting to converse with her, I brusquely ordered a club soda and grilled trout. When she came back, she had my club soda and a beer. Answering to my quizzical expression she explained that the beer was from her. She said I looked like I could use a drink. For the first time I really noticed her. She appeared to be in her late 30's, possibly early 40's. The dim bar light would have made her appear in her late 20's to the intoxicated wretch. Her body was in good shape from years of running between tables fetching drinks and spending time on the lake. We exchanged smiles and I thanked her for the kind gesture but explained that I don't drink. I quickly slipped into my "human mask" and we delved into a conversation, much to the chagrin of some of her customers, but she didn't seem to be phased by it. I told her that I was supposed to be meeting some friends this weekend, but they had blown me off. She seemed to genuinely care, or was at least very adept at feigning it. We continued our conversation through the course of my meal and I stayed to have a few more club sodas. When it was time to pay the bill she gave me a sly smile and said she got off at ten and I was invited to spend some time with her and her friends. I smiled and politely declined. She countered by offering to spend some time with just her. I thought about it for a moment and said that sounded like fun. She told me to come back around 10:15 and pick her up. After killing a few hours at the motel I made my way back just in time to see her emerge. She had changed from her work clothes, dressed in a mid length skirt and a light colored blouse. I waved her over and she slid into my passenger seat. After a cordial greeting she had me drive to a remote place on the other side of the lake that boasted a beautiful view. On the short drive she explained that the spot was a place she used to go fishing and swimming as a little girl. Upon arriving I was astonished at the view. I could see clear across the lake and there were so many stars it looked as if I could reach out and grab one. After a few minutes of idle chit chat she laid a hand on my thigh and leaned in to kiss me. Her lips were soft and nice, rather enjoyable actually. She pulled away from our embrace and suggested we get out enjoy the night air. She climbed out and walked to the edge of the water. I reached into the center console and drew my hunting knife. I go out and walked over to her with the knife carefully hidden from sight. She began to talk about how much she loved seeing the lake from this side at night, how peaceful and serene it seemed after everyone had left for the day. I agreed and then covered her mouth and plunged the knife deep in her back. From my peripheral vision I could see the shock in her eyes. I dragged her behind the car and proceeded to viciously stab her. I lost count after 50, becoming entranced as her flesh beckoned the blade. All the rage I felt from missing the girls became focused in the tip of my knife, each puncture doing little to quell it. When I came back into myself I looked at what was left of her - a bloody, oozing mass of flesh. No distinguishable features left, no trace of her former self. After a moment of reflection, and maybe even a pang of pity, I started the clean up. I put her lifeless corpse in the plastic lined trunk and pulled out a canister of gasoline to douse the bloody ground. I threw my blood stained over shirt in the trunk along with the gas and the knife. After taking a quick survey of the land for any witnesses or evidence, I jumped in the car and headed south towards the city. About 45 minutes later I pulled to a stop at a densely wooded section of the highway surrounded by rolling hills. I pulled the plastic covered body out of the car and carried it a few yards into the foliage. Returning to the car, I changed out the stolen license plates and replaced them with the rental plates. I grabbed the shirt, the plates and the canister of gasoline and continued the process. After throwing the shirt and license plates on the bar maid I covered her and the surrounding area with the gas and lit it on fire. I quickly made my way to the car and continued heading to the city. I finally pulled into my place around 3:30 this morning. This is not how I intended the weekend to go.

Spent most of the last night studying the ladies from the lake. Being that the restaurant is the social mecca of the lake, they returned for dinner as I anticipated. I was at the bar drinking club sodas and politely conversing with the barmaid when they walked in. They were truly stunning. The taller girl was dressed in a sheer white dress showing some very lovely legs. The other had on jeans and a low cut top, her hair up to make sure everyone could see her ample assets. Mine weren't the only eyes that followed them as they crossed the room to take their seats with a group of cattle. I ordered a nice salmon dinner for myself while they drank and dined with their friends. In watching the group dynamic, I surmised that these two are the focal point of this particular group of cattle. The others hung on their every word, even dropping their own side conversations in the off chance of missing something important. After three courses and several rounds, the group paid their tab. I allowed them a minute to collect themselves and make for the door before I paid my bill and followed. As I suspected they were still in the parking lot fraternizing when I exited. Making my way casually to the rental car, I kept an eye on them. They were saying their final goodbyes and getting into their own car. A short wait later and I was following them west down the main strip. About a mile and half down the road we pulled into one of the resort hotels. I drove past them and took a parking spot to watch them enter a villa. To my dismay, I discovered they are sharing lodgings with some other friends, exacerbating the problem of separating them from the herd. I watched the villa for several hours observing and formulating my next move. Finally a satisfactory plan came to mind. Tonight I'm going to put it into action.

More cattle at the lake than I anticipated. Although I should have expected it with the holiday and the warm weather. Surprisingly, the cattle out here in the open air don't bother me quite as much. I can almost bear to wear my "human mask" around them. I even enjoyed a peaceful meal surrounded by them at the lakefront restaurant earlier. The patio dining room afforded me a splendid view of the lake. I was also audience to the drunken water sports some of the cattle were engaged in. Amazingly, there were no decapitations by propeller. In the midst of the water antics I spied two intriguing brunette young ladies, their supple bodies bronzing in the sun. They didn't seem interested in the other cattle. In fact, they seemed quite taken with each other. Not enough to draw attention to themselves, but enough that a keen observer could see they are more than friends. A sly look here, a telling glance there. It was a very interesting dynamic to behold. I'll be heading back to the restaurant in a little while for dinner and maybe a little more.

Got to this motel about an hour ago. It's not very picturesque, but it's close to the lake. More importantly it's far from the city and most of the cattle. The drive up was pleasant enough. The rental car has a sunroof so I was able to see the stars. I miss the stars, being constantly surrounded by the trappings of man. For now I'm going to melt into the bed and dull my senses with television while exhaustion takes hold. Perhaps later today I'll venture out and explore the lake.

Spent a few hours in the park yesterday evening. It was bustling with cattle and their young. The greenery is coming into full bloom, enjoying the rejuvenation of spring. Some of the wildlife has even returned to enjoy in it's majesty. Yet for all this life and rebirth it was dead to me. My trophies have begun to lose their luster, fading into oblivion. Everything is becoming dull and lifeless with my prized possessions. Maybe I just need to get away from this place for a while. Maybe partake in the coming weekend holiday and go on a little vacation.